Was having this conversation with some new friends earlier and was curious. When did you guys figure out your sexuality/identity or whatever? Was there a person that helped you or a particular moment or event?
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Gods I am extremely dumb. I (cis fem) had crushes on girls for over a decade before I realised I had crushes on them.
Age 13 - “No I just like looking at her and think she’s really pretty”.
Age 16 - “No I just like her aesthetic. It’s gorgeous”.
Age 20 - “Ok I might kiss a girl a little bit, but I wouldn’t do anything else with her. I like boys anyway.”
Age 23 - “I just like looking at women naked. They’re so pretty and glamorous, who wouldn’t want to look at them? It doesn’t mean I’m gay or anything.”
(Spoiler alert: It totally meant that.)
Eventually figured out (with the help of my partner) I’m bi with a preference towards feminine traits, not necessarily women but anything seen as classically femme - long hair, long eyelashes, makeup, soft body, painted nails, a soft smile. Also kindness, gentleness, etc. There’s probably plenty more things I can’t think of. (Apparently my attraction is kinda misogynistic).
When I was 19 I started dating a boy with some of those traits and I thought I was winning at life. Then that boy turned out to be a girl and she got the rest of those traits and now I am winning at life. And walking down the street with her and holding her hand and being able to show her off and think “this is my girlfriend” makes me extremely happy - for the both of us. More than it ever did before.
I think I figured out I was bi when I was around 12? I don’t remember exactly what spurred it, but the first female fictional character I remember thinking was hot was Franziska von Karma. God. She’s the ideal woman.
And tbh I’m just now starting to wonder if I may have more going on than just “cis chick” gender-wise. I’m pretty sure I’m a woman, but I might also be something else? Uhhhh if anyone has resources for figuring out if you may be multigender, or just wants to talk to me about it, that would be appreciated lol
Why do you need to be multi gender when you could just be idk yourself
Being multigender is valid. Let’s not go around criticizing someone’s identity. Be better than that.
the first female fictional character I remember thinking was hot was Franziska von Karma.
Wow, that is a throwback. I now want to replay through every Phoenix Wright game.
Uhhhh if anyone has resources for figuring out if you may be multigender
The gender dysphoria bible was a pretty enlightening read when I was beginning my gender crisis. Don’t let the word bible influence you into taking it as gospel, no document is perfect, but it does a pretty thorough job of explaining the different feelings characteristic of trans and non-binary people.
Wow, that link is something I wish I had when I was starting out 6 or so years ago. Reading through it with my partner right now, it does a great job of succinctly but comprehensively consolidating so many things that we had to pick up in bits and pieces over time.
Agreed, but also curse that darn site for starting to make me question things a lot (in a good way though hehe)
Just finished reading through it together, what an excellent resource. I especially liked and appreciated the explanations of gender euphoria and how it relates to gender dysphoria, one of the most thoughtful and clear articulations I’ve seen.
It all started with a hentai game and ended up in therapy. Went from hetero to lesbian to trans hetero.
