I did the “too much for people” thing this weekend and just feel awful about it. I met a friend of a friend who I had been told was a little quirky, and we instantly clicked and started chattering in the way that neurodivergent people have, and after a while talking I asked if they were neurodivergent… And that was a terrible mistake, I think I really offended them though they were super nice about it, and I can’t stop kicking myself over it. Really cool person with a very interesting job, our dogs got along, lives nearby - I was stoked to have made a new friend, but I think I ruined it by getting way too personal.
When I was younger I used to have to keep telling myself: The past is the past and there is nothing that can be done about it now, so stop playing the same events through your mind over and over again because it’s just suffering for no purpose.
You may have made them feel uncomfortable at the time but maybe you also opened their minds up to new ideas and possibilities that they wouldn’t have thought about had you not said that. Sometimes people can take years of build up before they try to understand themselves on a deeper level and it takes comments like the one you made to add up over time until their threshold is reached and it causes action. They probably won’t forget what you said and it probably isn’t a bad thing.
I did the “too much for people” thing this weekend and just feel awful about it. I met a friend of a friend who I had been told was a little quirky, and we instantly clicked and started chattering in the way that neurodivergent people have, and after a while talking I asked if they were neurodivergent… And that was a terrible mistake, I think I really offended them though they were super nice about it, and I can’t stop kicking myself over it. Really cool person with a very interesting job, our dogs got along, lives nearby - I was stoked to have made a new friend, but I think I ruined it by getting way too personal.
Oh well.
When I was younger I used to have to keep telling myself: The past is the past and there is nothing that can be done about it now, so stop playing the same events through your mind over and over again because it’s just suffering for no purpose.
You may have made them feel uncomfortable at the time but maybe you also opened their minds up to new ideas and possibilities that they wouldn’t have thought about had you not said that. Sometimes people can take years of build up before they try to understand themselves on a deeper level and it takes comments like the one you made to add up over time until their threshold is reached and it causes action. They probably won’t forget what you said and it probably isn’t a bad thing.
I’ll try to keep this more positive spin on it in mind. Thank you for helping me see that there could be a silver lining. ❤️