I genuinely don’t understand how people see social interaction as something beautiful or natural. To me it feels like pure obligation.
Even at work you are not really yourself. You are adjusting how you speak, how you act, and how you respond just to fit the role, satisfy your employer, and keep things smooth with colleagues. That constant switching can be exhausting.
Outside of work it does not feel that different. Conversations, replying, small talk, making plans, it can all feel more like maintenance than real connection.
And yeah, I can agree that most people are not fully themselves in these situations. Everyone is performing to some extent depending on the setting. The difference is some people find it normal while others find it draining.
Sometimes it feels like people are not actually enjoying it as much as they say, they are just used to it being the default way to live.
Maybe I am missing something but I do not see the beautiful part everyone talks about.
You gotta find people who “speak your language”. It’s a massive fucking bummer to always be second guessing myself around some neurotypical people but with my partner or friends I just love being with them?
I can actually be myself with my partner, and my friends are way more understanding of the way I communicate than the general public. That’s why we are friends, because we enjoy spending time with each other!
Most of my friends are through shared interests. Those come with the built-in bonus of generally being task oriented and time limited so I can try and avoid over extending myself. It’s also okay to head out when you aren’t feeling it anymore. No one wants to feel like an obligation.
I need a lot of time by myself, especially now that I am turbo burnt out. But I do think it’s important to have some kind of connection just so one doesn’t become too disconnected. If something comes up and you need to do a socializing it’s a lot easier if you’ve been socializing on your own terms.
Plus, it’s nice to take care of each other.