It’s not a childhood trauma thing. I had a decent upbringing. I’ve been like this all my life. I’ll talk about people using their name to others when the named person isn’t around, but I avoid using their name as a vocative to their face.
Same thing with people using my name. I don’t mind people summoning me by calling my name, but I cringe when people use my name as a vocative in front of me. I also get irritated when people I don’t know and have no intention of establishing a relationship with use my name.
I worked in a call center and we had the usual opening “thank you for calling _____ my name is early_riser, how can I help you?” I assumed the unspoken rule was that I’m giving my name so the client can later refer to me in complaints or commendations, not because I want to establish anything more than a client-employee relationship. Also, I always use “sir” or “ma’am” when addressing clients, and hope they reciprocate that respect.
Edit:
Yes I know what names are for. Also “angry” was too strong a word. I don’t lash out at people when they do this. I understand that people are trying to be friendly when they use my name and that the irritation is unwarranted, but it’s there and I want to know why.
I don’t like when people work my name into a conversation (“that’s a good point, glimse!” Not “hey glimse how’s it going?”) because it makes me…suspicious. Like mind instantly jumps to the tactic taught to sales people to build rapport with prospective customers.
My guess is that it’s a defense mechanism. I’ve been taken advantage of after blindly trusting someone before, now I’m predisposed to look for the signs.
I’m sure it doesn’t help that I don’t really love my name. I don’t care enough to change it but it wouldn’t have been my first pick.