Well my life has been in constant turmoil since November. I broke up with my girlfriend of six years, moved out of our shared apartment into a flatshare in a mouldy shithole, got the majority of my friends to hate me from how I acted towards my ex, and now my kidneys have failed and I have been undergoing dialysis for nearly 2 months. This has caused me to be depressed, anxious all the time, and just plain lonely. Every day right now feels like a fight for survival. From high blood pressure giving me intense headaches, to fluid overload causing swelling everywhere and coughing from fluid in my lungs. Things just haven’t been going well for me. I also had to postpone my master’s thesis to next year.

I still need to figure out what to do with that shared apartment, how to survive until the end of summer which is when I’ll hopefully have my transplant, and how to make friends again now that I’m an adult.

Honestly if it wasn’t for my current girlfriend and my parents I don’t think I’d survive this, and I often feel like all this is my fault. It has also only recently hit me that yes, I am struggling, and things have been difficult, even if I never had to worry about things like money or having a roof over my head. I just wish for some rest.