Hi all I need a sanity check.
Diagnosed ADD as a kid, struggled to pay attention and care in school, was on concerta for a decade. Parents would up my dose if my grades went down and expected me to grow out of ADD once I turned 18.
That didn’t happen and my life fell apart and I vowed to never take medication again because I saw it as a conspiracy to sell pills and get people messed up in the head.
After 15 years of emotional dysregulation and crippling anxiety I spoke to a dr and tried an extended release amphetamine yesterday.
My whole world changed. No emotional noise, no background feeling of “I’m a bad person and I don’t know why”, social anxiety is gone (was able to respond to all my messages and even make a phone call AND talk to a cashier!!!). Was able to do tasks I left behind because the anxiety to start was too bad.
I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to now. My self confidence is up. I don’t dread things. I woke up calm. My mind used to be a firehose of thoughts and emotions all at max level. Now it’s calm and orderly and logical.
This seems too good to be true. I didn’t even know existence could be like this. Is this normal? Is it the honeymoon phase? Is it just because I’m taking an amphetamine? I’m beside myself and life feels like I’ve got all the cheat codes now. It seems too good to be true.
I finally got my appointment scheduled today to get diagnosed thanks to posts like yours. I didn’t realize I had it til about two years ago and kept putting it off. “What could they really do?” “I’ll work on getting that done after _____” “I’ve got too much on my plate as it is”
But I’ve seen enough posts recently like yours that last night at work I just decided “this is my one thing for in the morning” and I finally did it. And with it scheduled, I can’t miss it. I already feel better that I’m taking steps in that direction. So thank you, and everyone else posting before.
This is wonderful to hear :) for me it was a friend of mine who I hung out with. She was like “YOURE RAW DOGGING LIFE???” and she was so genuinely shocked I wasn’t medicated and it made me wonder if things were so different medicated that would cause her such shock. I see why now.
Just be prepared for some uncomfortable side effects in the first week or two until your body gets used to the medication. I’ve been a bit clammy and my tummy has been a bit weird and my heartbeat has been elevated a bit. All still worth it though.
Good to hear! But my caffeine and nicotine addictions make my tummy off anyways. I’m genuinely excited to see what the other side is like after 41 years. The one thing I hope I don’t lose is the constant music in my head. It really helps get me through boring nights at work.
Oh speaking of addictions, YMMV but I used to use cannabis throughout the day and a ton of it. Since starting meds I haven’t felt any need for it at all and just have it in the evenings if I feel like it. I’ve witnessed a 95% decrease in my cannabis consumption immediately. You may find you no longer want caffeine. I don’t know about nicotine since the addiction is chemical but who knows. Rooting for ya!!!
I’ve been trying to quit both to be an example for my son and his sugar habit. I can’t control what goes on at his mom’s or at school, but it’d be nice to have some help from that. I’ll be sure to post my results when I have any. Thanks for the support!