She has an enlarged heart. She is, unfortunately, dying I think. I love her so much. She’s my best friend. I’m pretty well out of cash at this point but I’m trying my best to make it work and get her the help she needs :(
She’s 17, so she’s had a good run. Doesn’t make it any easier if she is dying though :(
Just remember at this point that you’re likely to experience a flood of regrets: “I didn’t spend enough time with her”, “Maybe I could’ve saved her if I [convoluted, long-shot scheme you had no way of thinking of]”, “I treated her too harshly”, “I didn’t give her a good enough life in some way”, etc.
Discounting the possibility out of hand you have some serious skeletons in your closet, none of this is true. You’ll want to feel agency over a situation you couldn’t possibly have controlled to any meaningful extent, and when the inevitable is in sight, the only way you may see to express that is to look backward – and when you didn’t do anything wrong, you have to make it that way.
If you experience that, what you might not see in the moment – looking at a present you have minimal control over and a bygone past – is that there is another direction to look. You can look toward the future – to honoring the love, comfort, and companionship she gave your life and sharing that with and finding that in the pets and people in your life going forward.
She knows she’s lucky, and she knows you’re lucky for having had her. You did a good job.
I’m struggling with this right now after losing my kitty and my irl best friend just months apart. I’ve hit a point of pure jealousy that they will never have to see any of the evil happening today and will never feel the pain I feel. Is it possible to ever move past this?
I wouldn’t presume to say; I’ve never had personal experience with that feeling, but it’s valid, I empathize, and I’m sorry you had to deal with this loss – let alone so close together. The best I think I can say is that there are still sweet, innocent animals just like your kitty and good people just like your best friend who are still with us and who still feel the weight of the world. Like before, I think the best way to honor those who’ve passed is to hold onto the memories you shared together and to use those as your rock while you do good to others like you would’ve done for them and they would’ve done for you. I can’t say for certain you have the power to change your community online and off; I can say you always have the power to do your best.
I hope things get better in your world and in our world, and I’m sure both of your companions would’ve understood how hard things are right now. There are psychological models that deal with “I feel a way, and I don’t want to”, but I’m not a psychologist and never will be, and frigid regurgitation of clinical models at you isn’t, I’m sure, what you or anyone outside a classroom needs.
Nah, I believe she’s had a great life with me. She was in shelter/foster for 1.5 years because no one wanted her. She was old when I adopted her. I don’t know why no one wanted her. She’s been a great kitty. I’ve always put her needs (and now my other cat’s needs as well) before my own. I truly believe she’s lived a great life when she came into my life, and my life was all the better for having had her in mine. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my catties <3
She doesn’t appear to be in pain. She’s just recently started coughing. I took her to the vet this morning and they want to do an echo and X-rays to check her for asthma and congestive heart failure. That’s ANOTHER 1k$ D:
But yeah, if she’s in congestive heart failure, I might have to look at euthanasia :( I’d be devo. But I don’t want her to be uncomfortable or in pain. I gotta do what’s best for her, not what’s best for me
You’re a good person and a good pet parent. All you can do is just keep doing the next right thing, until the only right thing left is to keep her from suffering. She’s lucky to have you.
Thank you :). She is not in any pain yet, but once she is, I will give her the mercy of a painless end. I would HATE if I kept her in pain just because I didn’t want to lose her :(
I’m gonna get her cremated so she can be with me always. She’s the first cat I’ve had who was mine, not my family’s. She’s such a great kitty <3
She has an enlarged heart. She is, unfortunately, dying I think. I love her so much. She’s my best friend. I’m pretty well out of cash at this point but I’m trying my best to make it work and get her the help she needs :(
She’s 17, so she’s had a good run. Doesn’t make it any easier if she is dying though :(
Just remember at this point that you’re likely to experience a flood of regrets: “I didn’t spend enough time with her”, “Maybe I could’ve saved her if I [convoluted, long-shot scheme you had no way of thinking of]”, “I treated her too harshly”, “I didn’t give her a good enough life in some way”, etc.
Discounting the possibility out of hand you have some serious skeletons in your closet, none of this is true. You’ll want to feel agency over a situation you couldn’t possibly have controlled to any meaningful extent, and when the inevitable is in sight, the only way you may see to express that is to look backward – and when you didn’t do anything wrong, you have to make it that way.
If you experience that, what you might not see in the moment – looking at a present you have minimal control over and a bygone past – is that there is another direction to look. You can look toward the future – to honoring the love, comfort, and companionship she gave your life and sharing that with and finding that in the pets and people in your life going forward.
She knows she’s lucky, and she knows you’re lucky for having had her. You did a good job.
I’m struggling with this right now after losing my kitty and my irl best friend just months apart. I’ve hit a point of pure jealousy that they will never have to see any of the evil happening today and will never feel the pain I feel. Is it possible to ever move past this?
I wouldn’t presume to say; I’ve never had personal experience with that feeling, but it’s valid, I empathize, and I’m sorry you had to deal with this loss – let alone so close together. The best I think I can say is that there are still sweet, innocent animals just like your kitty and good people just like your best friend who are still with us and who still feel the weight of the world. Like before, I think the best way to honor those who’ve passed is to hold onto the memories you shared together and to use those as your rock while you do good to others like you would’ve done for them and they would’ve done for you. I can’t say for certain you have the power to change your community online and off; I can say you always have the power to do your best.
I hope things get better in your world and in our world, and I’m sure both of your companions would’ve understood how hard things are right now. There are psychological models that deal with “I feel a way, and I don’t want to”, but I’m not a psychologist and never will be, and frigid regurgitation of clinical models at you isn’t, I’m sure, what you or anyone outside a classroom needs.
I’m sorry. It’s never fair. I wish the best for you <3
Nah, I believe she’s had a great life with me. She was in shelter/foster for 1.5 years because no one wanted her. She was old when I adopted her. I don’t know why no one wanted her. She’s been a great kitty. I’ve always put her needs (and now my other cat’s needs as well) before my own. I truly believe she’s lived a great life when she came into my life, and my life was all the better for having had her in mine. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my catties <3
Thank you for the kind words :)
cats are prone to cardiomyopathy, aka genetic enlarged heart, seems to be common in most breeds. except the rare ones.
Well that certainly sucks :/
Don’t go too far. Just rememeber, it’s for her, not you. It’s hard to do that sometimes.
She doesn’t appear to be in pain. She’s just recently started coughing. I took her to the vet this morning and they want to do an echo and X-rays to check her for asthma and congestive heart failure. That’s ANOTHER 1k$ D:
But yeah, if she’s in congestive heart failure, I might have to look at euthanasia :( I’d be devo. But I don’t want her to be uncomfortable or in pain. I gotta do what’s best for her, not what’s best for me
You’re a good person and a good pet parent. All you can do is just keep doing the next right thing, until the only right thing left is to keep her from suffering. She’s lucky to have you.
Thank you :). She is not in any pain yet, but once she is, I will give her the mercy of a painless end. I would HATE if I kept her in pain just because I didn’t want to lose her :(
I’m gonna get her cremated so she can be with me always. She’s the first cat I’ve had who was mine, not my family’s. She’s such a great kitty <3