I’ve had a bit of a rough go with it in terms of being raised in a bad environment, not properly socialised properly early in life, and to top it off my partner of 7 years just ended things because of some pretty nasty issues between us that I felt were perfectly fixable.
Everything as it is, I’ve started having issues with feelings of being disposable. Like I don’t matter, like I’m nothing and I can’t expect people to stick around, like they’re waiting for a reason to abandon me.
On a logical level that doesn’t hold much water, but at this point I’m starting to wonder how to fight these feelings if they come from very factual places. How can I justify the thought that I inheritly have worth, if the reality of the situation is that I keep being treated like garbage.
I’m doing all the right stuff, seeing a psych, prioritising recover, actually have a pretty decent inner voice going, but the feelings are still really strong and it’s hard to fight them. I’m not really sure how to handle this.
That would be the standard unshakable idea that I need to meet a certain approval criteria that will mean I’m worth love and care. It’s not valid, but I’m well aware it’s in there.
Who is telling you that you need to meet a certain criteria, other than yourself?
Well that’s the inbuilt thoughts from a troubled childhood. It’s not anything special, pretty stock standard parental neglect
It’s also a story you tell yourself, which is only as true as much as you believe it. Why do you hold onto that story? Why not make up a different, perhaps more positive story? It’ll only be as true/false as the one you currently tell yourself.