[All these points apply to sex and to gender, so for ease of reading, I’ll just discuss gender]
Gender-exclusive groups are common in many societies, such as men-only and women-only social clubs and casual activity groups like a men’s bowling group or a women’s reading circle.
Sometimes this is de-facto, but sometimes this is enforced by rules or expectations, treating the club as a safe space for airing issues people have with other genders, or avoiding perceived problems with other genders.
I came across this old comment in a garbage subreddit by accident when researching. The topic is Men’s Sheds:
“Here’s the thing. No reasonable person has an issue with women having their own women’s activity groups. The annoying part is that whenever men try to do something similar, that’s a problem. Women either want them banished or demand entry, EVERY time.”
I think their claim is nonsense, grossly exaggerated at best. I also know of many counterexamples of men trying to get into women-only groups (as an extreme case, the Ladies Lounge of the Mona art gallery in Australia was taken to court for sex discrimination, with the creator claiming they would circumvent the ruling by installing a toilet). But nonetheless, I can understand why they feel this way, patriarchal social relations change how most people see men-exclusive spaces vs. women-exclusive spaces.
But my response to their claim is that, I am reasonable and I do have an issue with any group setting up places which discriminate based on gender. These safe places can form as a legitimate rudimentary form of protection, yes, but they maintain and often even promote sexism, and should all be challenged and turned into something better which serves the same purpose.
Of course, I’m limited by my own experiences and perspective, so I’d love to hear your opinions on the topic.
Bonus video: “Why Do Conservative Shows All Look the Same? | Renegade Cut” - a discussion about fake man-caves and sexism.
“Gender is cringe and we should get rid of it”
On a more serious note: I do not think that groups that define themselves in terms of exclusion are very good long-term. And neither do I think that issues of social inequality or discrimination are solved through segregation.
Especially when it comes to gender we see huge cultural divides and I think we’d have a lot healthier a society if we could share more understanding.
In particular I don’t think that exclusion based on gender or sex characteristics can build a healthy community. Not an egalitarian at least.
The same way that white-exclusive or black-exclusive groups would be pretty corrosive to a society where people of either skin colour coexist.
Furthermore I’d argue that this kind of strict segregation of people along gender lines into specific roles and social groups is how a lot of sexism is (historically and contemporarily) maintained.
I firmly believe that the only way to achieve the society we want, is to live it. How are we going to have temporary measures now but trust me, in the far future we’ll fix this (if the measures are not temporary you’re just engaging in principled discrimination imo) if we want a more equal society we should live it, fight for it, be the more equal society.
I want a more equal society.