I got bullied a lot. The only clique that didn’t bully me, was them. They were very ride or die people. They always made me laugh, my first ever crush was on one of them, but I never told him. Then, years after school, I’d get random people from that subculture helping me. A bunch of them talked me out of suicide. I didn’t even know them, but that’s what they did. And now that subculture’s just…gone. I know those people still exist, obviously, but every time I think about it, or watch old videos involving people of that subculture, I feel a wave of warmth followed by emptiness. I never got to thank some of them for making my teenage years my golden years. I felt safe opening up to them emotionally. Otherwise, I was a closed book. My family are very “get on with it” “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” people.

I forgot to put my age, but I’m a woman, and 30.