Start by recognizing the three states: passive, assertive, and aggressive and learn how to maintain that balance in being assertive.
You don’t want to be aggressive, which is when you are on the offensive and is overtly rude/disrespectful and hostile.
You also don’t want to be passive, which is when you let people run you over and railroad everything you do. You let people disrespect you.
You want to be assertive. You are honest and upfront about your wants/needs in a respectful and calm manner. You make compromises when appropriate and necessary. You aren’t railroading others nor allowing others to railroad you. You understand that others exist and ensure others remember that you exist as well.
The difficulty, at least for me, is that assertive can sometimes come off as aggressive. But standing up for yourself in a reasonable manner is not, no matter what people may think or say. Sometimes someone may think that because you speak up for yourself, that’s aggressive behavior, but it’s really not. Simply telling someone else, “That hurt my feelings and I’d like for you not to do that again” on its own is not an aggressive reaction but assertive.
Start by recognizing the three states: passive, assertive, and aggressive and learn how to maintain that balance in being assertive.
You don’t want to be aggressive, which is when you are on the offensive and is overtly rude/disrespectful and hostile.
You also don’t want to be passive, which is when you let people run you over and railroad everything you do. You let people disrespect you.
You want to be assertive. You are honest and upfront about your wants/needs in a respectful and calm manner. You make compromises when appropriate and necessary. You aren’t railroading others nor allowing others to railroad you. You understand that others exist and ensure others remember that you exist as well.
The difficulty, at least for me, is that assertive can sometimes come off as aggressive. But standing up for yourself in a reasonable manner is not, no matter what people may think or say. Sometimes someone may think that because you speak up for yourself, that’s aggressive behavior, but it’s really not. Simply telling someone else, “That hurt my feelings and I’d like for you not to do that again” on its own is not an aggressive reaction but assertive.