I am probably quite agender, as I have no intrinsic sense of my gender. I simply accepted my AGAB (assigned gender at birth) without questioning it. At some point, I realized that I don’t feel any connection to this gender, no feeling like other people have. I also don’t see it as something that influences my personality and I don’t apply to gender norms. I just don’t care about gender. (This btw. also makes it harder for me to understand people whose sense of gender is so strong that they even reject their AGAB, although I accept their feeling, of course.) So how do you “feel” gender?
You can only feel what it feels like to be you, and since you’ve only ever been yourself you have no point of comparison.
I don’t think gender feels like anything. I am trans, I have been both a man and a woman and in my experience they don’t feel different. In this moment I feel like myself, just as I did a decade ago.
The things that have changed is that I no longer suffer from a crippling depression with an unclear cause. I have a range of emotions, and can feel emotions correctly. I consider my body to be part of myself.
All the above are now clearly signs of gender dysphoria, but at the time were hard to identify. The depression always has a more plausible explanation. The other two, I barely noticed I had because I experienced that my entire life.
It took me a very long time to discover that I am trans. It took a lot of self reflection to figure it out. Feelings were useless. I did think I would be happier as a woman, but that always seemed more of a logical deduction than a feeling.