No, we don’t. My response to that would be something like, “damn, that’s why she sounded so disappointed. We hadn’t spoken in a few weeks, so I know it wasn’t me this time… it sounded like she got some bad dick, thanks for providing context I suppose.”

Or if it were in passing/in person, maybe something more short and to the point like “she told me, said it wasn’t the worst she had, nor the smallest, but definitely the saddest.”

Or maybe just “I’m sorry, you should go get tested.”

Wouldn’t bother me in the least.

I don’t have a “bad” relationship with my mother, but a joke like that is hardly worth considering. Might as well have some fun with it.