Mr. Pickles the vase was found on the floor in pieces by the lady of the house.
You were witnessed on the mantle shortly after the incident.
What is your defense?
Meow?
That’s convenient. It seems to be an odd coincidence indeed. And yet we have a long list of witnesses of your blatant disregard for elevated objects.
I myself witnessed you dislodge a flower pot last week. Can you explain that as coincidence?
Mrow.
No. No you can’t. With all these repeat offenses how are we supposed to judge you?
Meow.
Yes I see. That’s right. You are indeed a cat. We don’t judge you. You judge us.
This is why I only talk to my cats like adult humans.
One is a lawyer and the other an investment banker.
It’s important to not coddle them.
Your cats are lawyers too?! My 3 boys just made partner at “Cat Butt, Cat Butt & Tail”
Junior partner at Princess, Fuzzbutt, and Chonks
I talk to my cat as if I’m summoning a demon. I’m sure the old lady next door is concerned.
Neth’Sin the Eternal Tormentor can only actually torment you by pissing off the side of the cat box, or a protest turd by the toilet.
Mr. Pickles the vase was found on the floor in pieces by the lady of the house.
You were witnessed on the mantle shortly after the incident.
What is your defense?
That’s convenient. It seems to be an odd coincidence indeed. And yet we have a long list of witnesses of your blatant disregard for elevated objects.
I myself witnessed you dislodge a flower pot last week. Can you explain that as coincidence?
No. No you can’t. With all these repeat offenses how are we supposed to judge you?
Yes I see. That’s right. You are indeed a cat. We don’t judge you. You judge us.
In that case i hope youre not giving them free room and board.
Sometimes it feels like it’s their house and I’m just living there, but I earn my keep by providing meals.