Im wondering if this is a common adhd thing.
For example, I have always wanted to program, but I can’t let myself start with some easy gui building block code. I need to understand how the code is interacting with the computer itself and know how they did it in the 80s. Then of course it’s too hard for me and I give up.
Or if im making music, I need to do everything from scratch the hard way, making it as hard as possible (and killing any creative effort i had in the beginning).
It’s the same with anything. I can’t progress if I dont know the absolute reason why something is being done. And if I do it the easy way, I didn’t do it right and took shortcuts so it was worthless.
Algebra came easy to me. I came to realize even in elementary school we were doing algebra even if they didn’t use that name. Simple arithmetic like 2 + 5 = ? Is algebra if you think of the ? As X.
Then it’s 2 + ? = 7.
After that, at least to me, it’s order of operations and just moving things around.
Same. Geometry I had major issues with because of proofs, but could use algebra to solve almost anything they threw at me.