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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 4th, 2023

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  • If you’d like, two strategies:

    I always keep a book on the John, and will pick it up any time I’m in the room. Gets me through that “first half is dry build” some books have, even if it’s a paragraph at a time.

    Other is audiobook+mindless game. I spend a decent chunk of my afternoons when I’m in this mode just playing Peglin or more recently Haste muted while the book goes.

    This book on the John I’ve done since childhood, it’s got me through some dense stuff, I’d definitely recommend it. Hope it helps!



  • I’ll bite: I powered on my computer. My bios started which started my init process, which started my daemons, which started my login manager (maybe slim), which started my DE (maybe gnome), which I use to go to my browser in order to watch other people stream video games.

    I’m dicey on what the browser is being used for - maybe security software? - but I feel like it’s plausible.


  • To take a stronger tack on what loonsun has said: IQ tests are bullshit.

    Measuring intelligence - that is, the ability to find patterns and integrate experiences to synthesize solutions - is still an unsolved problem, and any psych major will happily tell you that - they’ll have learned it in their first course, even. No one’s figured out a way to do it that isn’t just testing knowledge instead of the actual “intelligence” of someone.

    To give you just one reason they’re bullshit: there’s no IQ test in existence where studying for the test does not significantly improve your score. Clearly that means the test is at least in part testing what you know, instead of some “base aspect” of your mind.

    Another reason often quoted is that tests made in different cultures produce different results for people who aren’t from that culture. So clearly, again, learned cultural knowledge - not some “base intelligence” - is involved in the test.

    So instead of worrying about IQ tests, put them out of your mind. The only people who care about them are charlatans. If you’re having trouble functioning in daily life, you’ll likely go a lot further finding resources that help with the tasks you’re struggling with - which may not be easy, but will help you. A therapist may also be a good person to chat with this about - mine has certainly been a big help to me. Good luck!


  • …on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.

    • Douglas Adams




  • If he suddenly really wants to do his laundry one morning, don’t ask questions. (Wet dreams and embarassment being the context here.)

    That’s about all I can think of that’s gendered, really.

    I was ~9 when I got the talk from my Dad, and it was basic stuff about just the mechanics. It set things up so that, around 13, I went to him with questions about how I was feeling re: puberty. So even now it’ll be helpful to do the talk and show that you’re available as a resource.

    In your case, your son likely has some idea from internet pornography and whatever he got in school, but it would still be helpful to go through the basics with him. I’d frame it as “I’m sure you know most of this, but i just want to make sure you know what’s important.” It might also be helpful to make clear that pornography is as much acting as TV is - don’t set his expectations on it, it’s people faking things for money.

    Going over the importance of condom use also helpful at his age. Keep in mind, it’s not necessarily about what he’s going to use right away, but making sure he knows when he does need to know.

    Then, I’d just be there for him and ask if he has any questions, and answer them frankly. Tell him he can come back later if he’s unsure.

    It’s awkward and tough I’m sure, but it’ll be a help not just now, but going forward. Good luck!