I’m gonna stuff that unlimited budget between the fabric layers of mine and take it home with me.
Each of the little umbrella spikes extends and can be inflated to become a dado. Same with the handle. Same with the little dealt at the top.
All the dildos shoot violets.
I call it “the confucking umbrella”
Found the middle management testing out their interview question about creativity.
comes up with tactics as the name implies
Shield from rain
My umbrella will be super light. It will connect on my back and blocks rain whichever the direction it’s coming from. Think Dr Oct but only one limb holding an umbrella.
it runs its own general circulation model and predicts rain an hour before it even arrives and stays open with no option to close it until an hour passes.
Coincidentally, it also takes a day to re-open, so once it closes, it’s not opening again.
it automatically closes after an hour.
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Tactical hand-free design is essential.
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The top part detaches and is a drone.
It doesn’t look like anything. It’s an invisibility umbrella.
It also lets you walk through walls.
It wouldn’t be the first… the KGB assassinated a guy with one at least once.Bulgarian Umbrella
It’s absolutely bananas that this would come up now, because I’m almost finished designing one in FreeCAD lol. Is it in the zeitgeist right now or something? Is it because the most recent No Kings had a yellow umbrella theme?
Mind you, I’m very untalented at CAD, just doing it for funsies and to learn the Assembly workbench. I will upload it to ManyFold when it’s done and tested though if anyone’s interested.
I’m hoping it’ll be sturdy enough to survive blunt impacts, and able to slow down some weaker munitions, but it’s gonna be on the heavy side. Expecting it to cost roughly $100 worth of parts. You could definitely build it WAY cheaper but I’m going all high quality.
It’s just an RV. A regular RV. No bells or whistles. Just an RV. It has a toolbox.
How do you carry it around
It carries you around.
How do you take it on a flight with you
Why would you flight? Just drive it.
can you take it on a plane
If you make it amphibious and go fast enough, it will plane.
Unlimited budget? My tactical umbrella is capable of generating 5MW of electricity from cold nuclear fusion.
Then you will need a secondary umbrella for primary, watsr and electricity go boom boom together
Thankfully, being shaped like an umbrella, the design already accounts for this by directing rain away from the power output located at the base of the handle. It’s Type C!
With my unlimited budget, I have also funded research to increase the official USB-C PD spec to a frankly irresponsible five megawatts of energy throughput.
The clearance you need for 1 Megavolt means that you need something like 45ft between your terminals to avoid arcing. I suggest a slightly higher than 5A limit on your new USB spec
This has me cackling thanks
Ok, but can you hold it above your head?
Why wouldn’t they be able to? It’s an umbrella.
To be fair, since it is also a 5MW cold fusion reactor, it is also rather heavy, so one does need to be stronger than the average person. It’s the ONLY downside to this innovative product. It even folds!
I assumed that you wouldn’t ask for an umbrella that you, yourself, would be unable to carry.
Now that just seems a bit unrealistic, doesn’t it? Everyone knows nuclear reactors are quite heavy. Let’s not stoop to silliness.
What are you talking about? I don’t know they are quite heavy, so that means everyone doesn’t.
You’re right, I’m sorry.
My design is flawless otherwise though right??
It’s a smart umbrella with A.I. features that will advice you on when to open your umbrella. If you find yourself in a situation where you encounter rain, and you type in “It’s raining” on the touch-handle screen, the umbrella will either tell you to open the umbrella or not open the umbrella depending on what input you give it.
Serves as a shield against small calibre bullets. Is able to accurately fire sniper rounds
Kingsman enjoyer?
I mean I was basically gonna comment the Kingsman umbrella lol. It just makes sense. They got guns, bulletproof, video screens, they’re strong as hell, and don’t they have swords in them too?
